Get Back to Living Your Life (Not!)

So I'm supposed to 'get back to living your life' - as the professionals who handle all these fire, insurance and renting things say - and I'm with the pets at a furnished, wall-to-wall carpeted townhouse with a lot of stairs because I said I have pets and no one will rent to me.  Finally someone said, we will for $$$$$.  I have the insurance coverage to fork over the $$$$$, and my dogs have been outside for 50 nights, and I've said 'yes' to every house that didn't have visible repairs made with duct tape and string.  Problem solved when the insurance company said OK.

No, problem temporarily solved.  30 days later, I'm living my life at work because that's where I think I should be Monday - Friday, and I get a call from my short-term company who collects the $$$$$.  The complex where the townhouse entered my unit and found pets.  I have to go.

Even though I did have a foster cat named Keyser Soze in the past, I'm not a criminal mastermind that can disappear after walking out of a police station with my SUV full of pets and their supplies, so I had a reality check with - I told you I have pets and other people in the complex have dogs (some also have 2) and other people have cats.

Not good enough, even though she admitted I had honestly rented and fully disclosed my pet head count when renting from them.  It's not them, it's the complex - and they hadn't thought they entered units 'at will'.  Yeah, I don't like this 'at will' thing either.  They didn't even lock the door when they left.  It was closed, but not locked.

Meanwhile, I can't repair and move home because the insurance company stubbornly thinks my house was a teardown with boarded up windows before the fire, so they're saying they're not paying to 'improve' the dwelling by replacing windows.  They also denied my request to winterize the house (drain the water from the pipes) because they don't think New Jersey ever has temperatures below freezing.  And if I do any work on the house they haven't pre-authorized, my fight for windows and drywall for where I used to have walls goes up in smoke.

It seems common sense to prevent pipes from freezing in an unheated house, but there's a lot of people from Sandy that either used their own savings, credit cards or an initial settlement amount,  and they started to get some work done because their houses were being taken over by mold.  Their insurance companies - home, flood and FEMA - then said any repair to their damaged house invalidated their outstanding claims.

After the lack of action on the part of the corporate, short-term housing experts last time, I started making calls on Day 3 of the Hunt for Somewhere to Live Part Deux.  Within an hour, I was speaking to a real estate agent who emailed me photos and showed me a house that evening.  I said 'yes' again, and since he already explained my situation to the homeowner he was ready with a lease.  I signed with the caveat that I need approvals from the insurance company because common sense seems alien to them, along with anyone giving a flying rat's ass that I will have nowhere to live again.

It's now Day 7 of the Search Part Deux - legally I'm now in a mess because the insurance company didn't give a 'yes' or 'no' within that 72 hour refusal period of the contract.  I'm antsy, and didn't settle for leaving voice mail so I kept picking up the phone and dialing.   What's the hold up?  Am I moving in 3 days or not?  Clock is ticking.  I need someplace to live.  If I can't live there, I want them finding me someplace because that's their profession not mine.  I know I'm a difficult case because my pets did survive the fire and I'm a cold-hearted bitch unwilling to cooperate and put them into a shelter (they have no clue about the definition of 'No Kill').  My pets are part of my family, and since I don't look for attractive pets they'll be euthanized if I go along with the professional advice on how to 'get back to living my life'.

NaNoWriMo countdown

Back to writing - or at least in less than a month, I have to be ready to hit the keyboard hard for National Novel Writing Month.

What's that?  In November, a lot of people worldwide set a personal challenge to write a novel during the month.  For the math-minded among us, that's 50,000 words in 30 days, or average 1,667 words a day.

I can't let silly things like contractors losing keys to my house or the power cord to my printer distract me!  And this year should be a welcome change because I didn't have power in 2012 due to Sandy.  I wrote longhand by the light of candles and my hand-cranked flashlight (like Vanna has) while I sat in  the kitchen watching the stove while I heated the house with steam to keep me and my pets toasty.  Then I scrambled Thanksgiving weekend to type it all up so I'd have word count to stick in the validation tool.

Temp housing accomplished

Let me start off with the positives -

1. No person or animal was hurt or worse during the fire.

2. They are all still relatively well.

3. There is one company that will short-term rent to my family of one full-time adult, one part-time adult student, two dogs, and some cats (number varies due to foster adoptions)

After I consider all that, I suppose everything that follows is just aggravation.

One dog has to be retrained because he doesn't respect the gate after 50 nights of living outside.  I've had to crate him when I'm not present. He's good in the kitchen if I'm on the first floor with them.  I've restricted their 'hang with me' time because it seems to confuse the dog being crated.

I also have a third company that I'm not pleased with.  Since they have the contents of my house hostage right now, I'm grumbling about their shortfalls.  They were supposed to clean and pack a pile of items I made to take to the temp house.   A big pile of boxes formed while they worked, and I waited while wondering if I needed so much stuff - it hadn't looked like that much when I put it together.  I had a subset already with me where I was sleeping.

When the housing was finalized, they had said they'd move the items in their van.  Then when the time came, they backed out of it.  Inconvenient, and since the billing goes directly to the insurance company instead of to me - was that charged?  And because this was a professional relationship, my disappointment was greater because I'm used to personal acquaintances saying 'no' when I call them after they grab my hands in theirs and insist 'call me if you need anything'.  For some reason, I take that literally and call them.  I know, I know - it's only a saying that doesn't really mean anything.

I moved the pile, then began unpacking.  Then I had to unpack it all quicker because the stuff I was looking for wasn't there.  It could be in storage with everything else.  It could have been thrown away or stolen.  I won't know for months because I do not have access to the items put in storage until it's delivered back to my house.

It's stupid things, but I need some of them.  Like my printer - it made it, along with the USB cable that was attached to it.  But the power cord was removed, and I searched through all the boxes looking for it.  And I don't like getting lip about it must be my mistake when I put it on the pile - uh no, I unplugged it with all related wires and wound them once around the closed printer.  This one folded up into a nice rectangular cube with nothing sticking out.  And although I have another Canon printer and a box of spare cables, they were all packed up.   Amazon was more than happy for my purchase of a printer power cord and other little things that happened to be omitted.

What was in the rest of those boxes?  Well, in the lightest box ever were all the instruction manuals to my appliances that I had in a kitchen drawer wrapped in paper plus a lot of air.  I know I didn't request them.  Someone guessed I'd like to read about my dishwasher features while I'm washing dishes by hand daydreaming about moving home.  

The same stupid asses packed up every stuffed animal from my daughter's room to send with me.  Do I look like I need them?  She doesn't because she went to college without them.   Those are going back with the other eight boxes I already have repacked to go back to my house (I'll stick them in the attic to get them out of the way).

And you know why I think they did this shit on purpose?  To further aggravate me, my full boxes of cat litter had a hole stabbed in the bottom.    Lots left in them since I buy the 40# boxes, but it looks like someone shoved a screwdriver into the middle of the bottom through the tape into the plastic liner bags.  One box is an accident, two, three, and four is not.

They also misplaced the key to my house.  There's a lockbox on the front door, and when the next contractor visited, it was empty.  I had to leave work to admit him. They answered my question of 'where's the key?' with an accusation that I must have taken it.  

It's getting cold out

Sorry, I'm still obsessed about having no temporary housing after the fire.  Are all insurance claims turned into their version of Absurdism?   Loss of use coverage is needed the moment that my house is uninhabitable, or at least from the point their first adjuster has seen the house for himself two days after the fire.

48 DAYS later, my dogs are still outside, and I have nowhere to have my clothes that were whisked away for cleaning delivered to so I'm in shorts and sandals outside in the evening and during the night and in the morning with the dogs.

I fall asleep and then wake up worried that I don't hear my dogs, and go out and check on them.  Early this morning, it was 44 degrees. 

After being shown another house last week and saying 'yes, I'll take it' at 5 minutes after the time my appt was set for, I was turned down approximately 75 hours after that because the home owner changed her mind.

Something's wrong with this process if they claim they can get people into a temporary housing within a day.  One homeowner took 8 days to decide she didn't want to rent to me, and it took the insurance company 10 days to rule that one of the houses I was shown was too expensive because it wasn't comparable.  I have a 3 BR/1.5 BA house, and that 'yes, I'll take it' was on a 4 BR/3 BA house that I agree was too big but when all the other choices have been removed, I'm the only one that thinks I need to settle for something at this point.  Their obstructionism has already saved them over a month's rent.

Instead they want to push me into a house with two landladies who had a lot of verbal conditions like - don't use or go upstairs, only go down to the basement for laundry, don't block the driveway because we need to access the garage that we use for storage.  They provide electricity by stringing extension cords along the ceiling of the basement and I could see visible 'fixes' made with tied-off cord.  And the fenced yard is not directly accessible from any door in the house and the gate doesn't close properly so use it as your own risk.  So my 'no' ratcheted up to 'hell no'. I wouldn't obsess over it so much if they didn't repeatedly go back to the topic of that house.

So rather than working on showing me another house, they whine about my pickiness.  Their expertise has led to them showing me 4 houses in close to 50 days, and I've agreed to 3 of them.

Since I'm up most of the night checking on my dogs outside, either when it's warm and they won't be quiet, or when it's cold and they're too quiet, I got on the internet to look for other rentals.  There's got to be someone somewhere that can empathize with my situation and be willing to accept the insurance company paying rent.  I paid for coverage that included this benefit, and now after paying for years without ever having any claim, it's difficult to utilize in an effective manner.

Within 12 hours, I got a call and was shown a townhouse after lunch.  The agent who showed me the furnished townhouse equipped for short-term rentals for displaced or corporate rental was also a dog owner.  Peggy felt my pain, and she also pointed out an ideal window ledge for the cats to sun themselves during the day.

I increased my acceptance rate from 75% to 80% and called the adjuster with the information to get me in there.  He wanted to include the original short-term real estate experts even though I found the place, and the annoying thing is I have to grant them their cut of the deal to handle the direct rent payment, or I have to front all the security deposits and rent until the insurance company reimburses, and he estimated it would be 90 days from date of request to reimbursement check issued.

What an informational gem that call was.  Consider the following: 

Let's say I did as the insurance company suggested and found a hotel that would take us with at least the two dogs back on the night of the fire, and then waited for them to find the longer term temp housing.  I would have paid a nightly fee plus 15% hotel taxes for all these nights on my credit card - even cheap at weekly rate plus pet fees, I could easily see $100/night. They've already suggested monthly reimbursement for the future so on Day 30, I would have sent them the total of my hotel to date ~$3,000.  I could expect that reimbursement around Day 120?   Interest charges would accrue if I didn't pay it off each month.

Disclaimers:

I know I can buy more clothes, but I already have a lot of clothes.  They're simply out of reach at the moment.  I'm like my dogs when the morning sun comes up.  They don't move to the sunny part of the lawn to warm up, but stay next to the building.

I have considered boarding the dogs. As each house is found there's a lengthy wait of playing  'any minute now you can move in', and my guys have not done well with boarding in the past.  They go to the vet before the stay for the extra shots, then they come home sick and stressed and need another trip to the vet.  My canine boys want to be inside, laying around with their cat friends keeping them company.

Is something happening?

Things may now be trundling along  - on the house, not my writing.

Following my last update on Day 30 following the house fire, the insurance company granted permission for a company specializing in short-term housing to find me something and they would pay the rent.

That specialized real estate company called me on Day 30.  Her phone manner did not match the rave reviews I had heard back on Day 1.   They can 'get you in someplace in a day' and 'get you back to living your life'.  Uh, no.  It sounded more like I was being a pain in the ass for having a fire, having a second person (human) in the family not only lives in my house but claims the largest bedroom, and having pets that survived the fire.

So I answered the questions about people and animals with an idea in mind that I don't want a lot in way of live-ability because I don't want to lose a deposit buying someone else's carpet or furniture.   I live with pets, but I understand not everyone else does.  One of my dogs will shed by year end, and it's not pretty.  But ideally, I'd like a fenced yard and the ability to wash clothes.

On Day 34, I received a phone call back from them asking if I was available 'now'.  It was the morning of a work day, and I was working at home since the remaining contents of my house were being packed up to allow for demolition (smoke inside hollow walls - fire smoldered but never got to travel).

So it's my fault for the temp housing delay from Day 34 -> Day 35.  I was shown two houses on Day 35.  Both had laundry; one had a fenced yard.  I can walk my dogs, but the unfenced one had pre-stained carpeting and was really big.  I could imagine a multi-generational family living there, rather than one with a lot of kids due to the generous size of all four bedrooms.

Here's my question about the form I completed when I chose the smaller house - why does it matter if I'm employed and have an acceptable credit level?  I have been out of work, like many others have.  What effect does that have on my house fire and my house insurance company already approving they would make direct payments for my family's temporary housing?   I'm not even a risk in terms of disappearing because there should be awareness that I have a permanent house a town away.

What do they think I do - call up all the cat ladies and invite them over for an evening of the finest boxed wine and cat videos on YouTube?

I filled out their form anyway so I didn't add further to the overall delay. 

On Day 40, I called them to find out what happened.  What happened to tomorrow or the next day?  Since I was under the impression they only showed me houses that would accept -

1. Growing Angrier Cat Lady 
2. Mostly Absent College Student 
3. Barking Dog who generally behaves but must have the last word 
4. Yodeling Alarm Dog 
5. Cats (plural) who are all the same color.

Their response - how many pets do you have again?  And what breed are those dogs and their weights? 

I've answered this back on Day 30, and gave them the answers again.

Update on Fire Aftermath

Actually there is no real update, and I am counting days since the fire on Day 0.

After the initial two weeks of hurry up and get over there to disarm and arm the alarm (electricity restored on Day 3), and lock things back up, besides making sure if they've removed a board from a window that it's replaced (not always done), nothing has happened in the past two due to waiting for the insurance company.

They have been to the house twice already - on Day 2 (ok to hire electrician to turn on power), and on Day 25 to confirm the adjuster's assessment on Day 2 regarding future structural work to restore.

Their initial structural adjuster on Day 2 talked about smoke in the hollow walls all the way up to the second floor. (I realize how lucky we were to catch the fire that quickly due to that tidbit about balloon construction used for over a century) 

Before any approvals can be given to do more than cut peepholes in the wall, another insurance company rep needs to inspect the house.  He has an appt for Day 35.

Even if I try to see it from their POV (point of view), this seems inefficient.  Let's say their initial person dispatched has no authority other than to say 'yep, it was a fire', the second one should have some assessment ability to report back to them and begin the approval process.

Also, I am using their chosen restoration contractor.  Do they distrust this company so much they need to do this many reinspections?  

There's also my sarcastic angle.  I was told this week I will be out of my house 6 to 12 months.  If they send two guys a month out to my house to stick a dry sponge in their peepholes that long, will they eventually come out clean?   When that happens, they say 'No further work needed other than some spackle and paint'?

I've also let my not-so-nice side out of the cage to talk on the phone since I'm 'definitely not satisfied' with the ability to utilize my loss of use coverage through a company that specializes in short-term disaster, emergency, corporate, and government leases for temporary furnished housing.

At first I was not sure how long I'd be out of my house, and I realize a dog-owner with cats would be difficult to place.  However, I expected at least ONE phone call or email for me to list preferences, quantity, or any dealbreakers at some point because I was told they would call me on Day 1.  They didn't.  They didn't call for many days.

This morning I rec'd a response to my 'not satisfied' ranting - Day 30.  I'm told expecting any query regarding my preferences would be premature because they need insurance company approval first.

Am I supposed to empathize with these bureaucratic buffoons because I know what it's like to have a place to live with all the comforts of home, including my pets?  But apparently since my life is not their life, these numbnuts prefer to dick around for a month.

Meanwhile my dogs have been sleeping outside for a month.  They made it to their golden or senior years without ever doing that for even one night.

Due to my reliance on these companies at this time, I am leaving their company names absent from this blog post, but I intend to edit them in later once I get a sliver of deplorable service out of all these slower-moving-than-a-glacier incompetents.  Future updates may reflect an improved level of service, but at the moment I'm not classifying the insurance company or temporary housing specialist as efficient or able.

LLCs to Protect Yourself - from what?

Things are moving slow regarding the house fire.  No real news to report.

So I'm going back to blogging about the publishing schemers.  Should you form a Limited Liability Corporation (LLC) as an author? 

Before I jump into the scheme, I will say that anyone can sue anyone in the United States for any reason.  So if based on that, I guess it wouldn't hurt except that LLCs aren't free.  I'm not overly concerned that someone will sue based on my fiction writing since I'm definitely sure I wrote it, have backup files, posted info about it during National Novel Writing months, went to writing groups, and from there it'll be a tough case to prove otherwise.  And what would they hope to gain, my royalties?  Plus their court costs?   Not a good get-rich-quick scheme.   Damages?  How does a fictional novel damage someone?  I even googled Vanna's name to make sure there weren't a bunch of Vanna Ames around.  There wasn't even a historic figure named Neferseshotep.

However, the real scheme (according to the schemers) is to use other work that you wouldn't legally be able to use and hide behind the LLC when it's found out.   That doesn't sound pleasant, but they were using as an example Broken Piano for President by Patrick Wensink.  I've actually blogged about Wensink's blog on Salon so when this scheme was floated at a dubious writing group, I knew exactly the book and author.   I don't think Wensink or his publisher started out with the intention of receiving an extremely polite cease-and-desist letter from Jack Daniels that they publicized because it was one of the nicest cease-and-desists ever.  Wensink admitted he made $12,000 in that six month royalty period because his book then became a bestseller so in Sharon terms this is also not a good get-rich-quick scheme.  I have imagination and like to think in terms of Powerball jackpot figures, rather than being able to cover a tuition bill.

But to the scheme -
(1) Set up a LLC. 
(2) Obtain a novel, search and replace names and insert products from chosen title.  The idea floated was similar to Marlboros and Budweisers. 
(3) The LLC publishes the novel.
(4) The LLC collects the royalties.
(5) The LLC pays every cent it receives to the schemer.
(6) Repeat steps 2-5.
(7) The LLC has no money when it is sued by the authors or trademark holders.

First off, I don't think this is very good for someone who claims to be an author.  Ideas should be popping up in your brain all the time so you don't have to manipulate someone else's text and slap your name on it.

Secondly and probably more importantly in legal terms, a LLC cannot be used to avoid personal liability.  Since I'm not a lawyer, I'll point you to Maxwell S. Kennerly, Esquire's post.

Basically, you can't set up a LLC to avoid taking responsibility for your wrongdoing.  Let's say I have my LLC and a teenager.  I register her car to the LLC.  When she drives through a red light, and a camera takes a picture, the ticket will be issued to the owner of the car - LLC.   Do you think I can say LLC has no money, and write ROTFLMAO across the summons? 

It's a fire. Call 9-1-1

Last week, I was in class to renew my CPR certification.  As in previous courses, we had a good time pointing at each other and saying, "You - call 9-1-1 ..." followed by a list of instructions.

This week, I'm pretty sure I pointed at my daughter when I said, "Call 9-1-1."

M's a college student, had only been home five days from her summer course, and will be returning to school in less than a month.  She made the call and helped me get as many animals out of the house as possible, then handled the dogs for close to six hours after they were removed from the backyard with borrowed leashes.

The fire was in the basement.  I couldn't see the flames when I opened the cellar door when I was trying to track down the smoke smell.

The smoke detectors didn't go off until after the call was made and we were running around, trying to stuff cats in carriers.

Our town and the neighboring town's fire department responded and acted aggressively to put it out fast.  I'm thankful they were so proactive, and once the structure was deemed safe, the cat rescue folks, who all showed up with carriers, swarmed the house to find every cat that remained.  None jumped out a broken window or ran out an open door.

Book Reader Infographic - What species of reader are you?

I saw this graphic, and thought I'd stop boring you guys with post after post about crazy publishing schemes.  I've decided that those who speak about writing and author type stuff are dreamers, and those who speak primarily about their get-rich-publishing ideas are schemers.

Laura E. Kelly created this graphic to classify Book Lovers and other Readers.

I believe I'm under Free Range - I'm complicated with Library Lover tendencies.  What kind of Book Lover are you? 

Laura E. Kelly, What Species of Reader Are You?

Use ISBN - International Standard Book Number

Please excuse this longish post.  

And a preceding caveat that we can ignore for this discussion - Kindle format books only need an Amazon number or ASIN.

So much gets said about ISBN – international standard book number or that barcode on the back of the book they scan at the bookstore.  I believe the worst piece of self-publishing, business advice I heard is don’t get an ISBN for any of your published work. 

There’s various scenarios where you might choose one route over another to become published and possibly obtain an ISBN, but this individual was going full ‘tin foil hat’ so that’s why I found her series of comments so disturbing.

I think this applies to United States only – you can take that to mean only here will you hear this and will there be people listening, if you like.

From the trolling well of misinformation -

If your book is ever branded with an ISBN, the government will know every book sold and at what price and come after you for taxes because Bowker (the sole source of US ISBNs) is a government agency that’s part of the IRS.

I think she should have added the word ‘secretly’ because most Bowker employees have no idea they work for the IRS (that’s me being sarcastic – Bowker is not part of the IRS), or somehow collate book sales along with information regarding what is the net income to each author for tax purposes.  Authors are taxed on their income, not the cover price of their books.

Besides the illogic of this scenario, I’m concerned about the author who may take this as true (if not paying taxes on income is their primary concern when they self-publish their book).  Without an ISBN, where will this book be sold - out of the trunk of your car?   I expect the ‘off the grid’ style will radically decrease sales, if there were ever going to be any.  Is it worth not paying income tax to do this?  If the answer’s ‘Hell, yes!’ read on …

More how-to advice from the same troll when an author questioned what to do if a printer insists they want to put a ISBN on the back cover of the book –

Check with local printers.  Do not use large book printers such as CreateSpace.   Ask the printer for a barcode free cover.  If they are insistent, supply a false one.  Local printers may not verify for accuracy.

Should I be worried that my ISBN will be supplied to mask some hot-selling, off-the-grid novel, and the Bowker division of the IRS will be after my ass?

I have not priced out how much the difference is between using a Print On Demand (POD) company such as CreateSpace (owned by Amazon) is compared to a local printer.  However, I do know other authors who are under contract to smaller publishing houses and their books are printed by CreateSpace.  To me, that means that CreateSpace offers competitive printing rates.

Tying this back to the original premise, what if the author decides the local printer is too much money per copy, and s/he uses CreateSpace?  There will be an ISBN assigned to that book.  CreateSpace offers them at no charge for using their service.

This could put the tin-foil hat crowd back into a tailspin because that seems deceptive – nothing worth having is ever free.  Within Bowker’s web site, there is pricing for ISBNs.  Bulk pricing lists 1,000 ISBNs for $1,000, contact for ISBNs in greater quantity.  So let’s say CreateSpace paid at most $1 for each ISBN they give away for free – doesn’t that mean Amazon will go out of business? 

It is true that currently you never have to buy a copy of your own book through CreateSpace which equals no revenue for CS/Amazon.  Authors can also not choose any distribution options (it’s not even for sale on Amazon).  How many people are doing that?  I think CS/Amazon has thought it out and finds $1 an acceptable risk for gaining the possible business.  As long as some authors buy copies of their books, sell their title through Amazon, or purchase other services through CreateSpace, they’ll make those dollars back.

For those interested in eBook publishing, SmashWords has a similar offer.   A free ISBN to cover the eBook distribution you choose (Smashwords distributes to multiple eBook platforms).  Don’t mix up the ISBNs.  You need one for each format – hardcover, trade paperback, eBook, audio, etc.

There’s more advice on ISBNs that I might not call as ‘tin foil hat’, but more about keeping it a secret that you’re a self-published or indie author, or the current term ‘artisan author’. 

Remember Big Brother over at Bowker?  He only talks to whoever bought the ISBN.  That’s Bowker’s customer and the ISBN owner of record. Anyone researching that ISBN or your title will find out who Bowker’s customer/your publisher is.  If they see ‘Create Space’ or ‘Amazon Digital’ instead of ‘Random House’, your secret is out of the bag.

So the bigger thinking entrepreneurs will set up a company name, or better yet a Limited Liability Corporation (LLC) to be their publisher, even if they will be the only author for the publisher they own.  When they go to a service like CreateSpace, Lightning Source, or Smashwords, they will supply the ISBN they bought directly from Bowker. 

Confusing?  Let’s say I started a business with my blog name and called it Crazy Cat Publishing. I then go to Bowker and pay for a block of ISBNs (remember one for each format, and I plan to have multiple titles so I might as well buy them now for the best group price).  I decide to use CreateSpace for POD (print on demand) and supply them with an ISBN that Crazy Cat Publishing (me) purchased from Bowker.  When my book is listed in Books in Print or anywhere else, it will say it was published by Crazy Cat Publishing.  CreateSpace was hired by Crazy Cat Publishing as a printer.  

Is that deceiving the consumer?  I am aware of factors because I am an author, but as a reader, I might not care who the publisher is unless I find a quality factor – either good or bad.  I do get a bit short with my book reviews if I know the book is traditionally published and is edited poorly in terms of development, plot, and basic copy editing.  However, even if it’s self-published, I do have some expectation with regards to professional quality.

Since I started with the worry of taxes, I can give a brief amount of info on how it works for self-publishing.  Amazon (as CreateSpace or Kindle Direct) and others will ask for your SSN, or if you set up a company like Crazy Cat Publishing, its tax number.  You get emails about your royalties, probably choose to get them direct deposited, and then sometime in January each seller/distributor will mail you or your company a 1099MISC.  That’s income.

If you decide to be an off the grid author as originally suggested as the best way to do things by the troll poster, you would not have author income so I think that eliminates deducting author expenses.

So my conclusion would be get and use an ISBN, even if you feel more comfortable setting up an alias company for yourself and buying it directly from Bowker rather than accepting a free one.  An ISBN allows that particular format of your book to be sold through bookstores and carried by distributors.  Those sellers will pay royalties and that is your income.  

Poor Man's Copyright

With starting the new day job, I’ve got a new schedule.  I’m old and resistant to change so author  blogging hasn’t topped my ‘to do’ list, but obviously I need to get back to this.  

In the past month, I’ve been revisiting some of my previous sources of publishing information because the landscape changes quickly these days.  The comments left as helpful advice may not always reflect the best intentions (back to my disgust with trolling – someone’s at this site for advice, so a troll purposely gives false or misleading information).

So perhaps I can write a blog series debunking some of the more extreme or most hindering advice?

Today’s post will be about ‘Poor Man’s Copyright’ and I’m only referring to the United States with suggestions though probably other countries have their own laws and method to register copyrights. 

This myth has been around a long time (pre-email days), and it’s never been easier to copyright so why someone would still find this alternate method believable and also legitimate is baffling.  However, this idea certainly has legs. 

According to the Poor Man’s Copyright, all an author needs to do is print out their manuscript, stick it in an envelope, and mail it to themselves.  If they never open this postmarked envelope until it is time to defend their creative rights in court, it is proof that the author wrote it and here’s a copy time-stamped by the post office.

Sounds simple, but here’s the flaws –

·         Court cases are not won this way because you could have mailed yourself empty envelopes and filled any one with paper later, or backdated your computer to burn a disc with a date two days before your postmarked envelope.

·         The US Copyright Office does not recognize this as a substitution for registration.

If that’s not how it’s done, how do you copyright your work?

·         Thanks to The Copyright Act of 1976 , your work is under copyright the moment it is created and fixed in a tangible form which could be printed on paper or on a hard drive and read  with the aid of a device such as a computer.

·         If you want to voluntarily register your copyright because registered works may be used for litigation, in case you have some difficulty later and want to go after statutory damages and attorney’s fees.   Register electronically at http://www.copyright.gov/eco/ and the current fee is $35. 

I work in IT and am not an attorney, but Snopes even says Poor Man's Copyright is not helpful in the United States, but does mention it 'may be useful' in the U.K. 

The Next Big Thing Blog Tour

Hey there, 

I'm participating in The Next Big Thing Blog Tour with some other authors.  We tag each others blogs and all post answers to the same set of questions.

This tour follows an interview format and for simplicity, I am answering the questions on my own blog rather than exchanging answers/posts with another author.  I'm tagging a few fellow authors at the end of the post.

1. What is your working title/title of your book?

The next Vanna Ames novel is Zombies may Bite but Vampires Suck

2. Where did the idea come from for the book?

It's a sequel to The End of the World Sucks

3. What genre does your book fall under?

Contemporary fantasy or dystopian fiction

4. Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

Thanos, maybe Jaye Davidson.  It's difficult to find an actor that short but that has an ageless face so the ambiguity about the age can remain.  

Vanna, Alexa Vega.  Lot more short actresses than actors.

5. What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

In a post-zombie apocalyptic world, Vanna has a vampire to keep her alive, but at what price?

6. Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency? 

Self-published.

7. How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

Since I'm a National Novel Writing Month participant, End of the World Sucks was done in 30 days  This is taking longer because I had a manuscript in 30 days, but I'm fiddling with it more.

8. What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

I am a cross-genre writer.  This isn't a zombie book and my paranormal love story is not sweet romance.  I would compare this to Gone with the Wind and The Arabian Nights.

9. Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Initially I had no romantic entanglements in the first book, but was convinced otherwise.  With that development, that led to further story needed to explain what happened next.

10. What else about your book might pique the reader's interest?

A vampire in a zombie book is one way of viewing it, but I also aim towards post-zombie outbreak.  What are people doing with themselves in this world?

I'm tagging some other authors to talk about their next big thing:

Liz or L.G. O'Connor   She's also a NJ author, and she writes urban fantasy.

Traditional Publishing and Non-Fiction

I sometimes enroll in a course at Coursera.  It’s free and online, and they’re taught by experts in their fields from recognized schools.

Currently I am taking Surviving Disruptive Technologies taught by Hank Lucas from the Robert H. Smith School of Business, University of Maryland.  The course is nice and understandable so that’s why I’m still with it weeks after its start date.  (If you start a course and find it’s not your cup of tea, it’s simple to unenroll.  No one is going to give you a hard time.)

The course has reached a lesson regarding publishing (it followed newspapers) on how disruptive technology is changing the business.  Prof. Lucas has published non-fiction work and was kind enough to share the numbers.  Like a fiction author, the non-fiction author receives a percent of the net per their contract with their publisher.  He receives the average 15% after net - $50 cover price, he receives $4 for each new book sold.  I’m adding Prof. Lucas receives nothing for the sale of a used textbook.

Here’s where publishers may have competition from self-publishing if authors think along the same lines as Prof. Lucas.  The author provides the content – the intellectual property.  He also provided the interior drawings and illustrations, something publishers used to do.  Is the value of his content roughly 8% of the finished product, or should the author receive more?  Prof. Lucas did include in his lecture that freelance editors and peer reviews are available for hire outside of traditional publishers – hence, he would need to invest money into the project like other self-published authors.

Obviously, Prof. Lucas has a promotional advantage over some self-published authors.  He can assign the book as part of his in-person course at his college, or teach a MOOC (massive open online course) at Coursera to get his name in front of eyeballs interested in the topic that his book(s) also covers.  

At least IT contracts don't have stream of consciousness

I was tickled by Matt Haig's piece on the Telegraph web site - 30 Things that every Writer should know.  There is a lot of good things in that list that even aspiring-to-become-professional authors should take to heart.

Your book advance amount does not predict success or even the level of support that an author will receive from their publisher stood out, along with - There is no modernist stream-of-consciousness novel harder to get through than a 'Publisher-Author Agreement'.

Bestselling Authors do not make Big Bucks

I've been doing research to better understand traditional publishing contracts and payments so I will be well-versed in the math to assist other authors in making a decision regarding traditional versus self-publishing.  And with the rapid changes in publishing, to understand some of the complexity.

For example, we're aware of Amazon.  Amazon is more than a book and everything else online store and distribution powerhouse.  Amazon also has both flavors of publishing under its octopus of a corporation.

There's CreateSpace for print on demand (POD) paper-style books, and also Kindle Direct to distribute ebooks in the Kindle format.  Both of these can be used by self-publishers, but it is not unusual for a small publisher to have their printing performed by CreateSpace.  CreateSpace is offering a cost-effective solution to their company.  Amazon also has imprints which operate with a traditional publishing model - authors receive contracts, advances, and royalties.

So while I was on Facebook and someone posted a link to 'Hey Amazon, where's my money?', I clicked to read the article on Salon.  I sell books on Amazon, and I have read some previous articles and blog posts that sounded like Amazon was letting some authors down.  They were short on specifics or contradicted my personal experience.  Such as if someone says they're going to Amazon today and will buy your book, and by the next day you don't see the sale - Amazon must have cheated you of that sale, rather than the acquaintance never following through.

I loved the Salon post by Patrick Wensink, except for the title [which has since been changed to My Amazon Bestseller made me Nothing and there may be more info in the article since I first saw it].  Wensink is not self-published so the publishing numbers and payments from Amazon are delivered to Wensink's publisher.  Wensink's publisher collects all the numbers and payments, then they'll issue a royalty statement and pay Wensink based on his contracted terms.  Even if the publisher is your buddy, they control the business relationship with Amazon or any other distributor.

Last year, Patrick Wensink received a cease and desist letter from Jack Daniels because the cover of his novel Broken Piano for President resembled their distinctive label.  The polite tone of the request made the news and increased sales for Broken Piano for President.  

The Salon post supplies the facts, and I love numbers rather than some hurt feelings and finger pointing.  Wensink's novel climbed into the Amazon top bestseller list for a week.  It sold approximately 4,000 copies during the 6-month royalty period (usually July-Dec), and Wensink received $12,000 (he didn't mention an advance, but we can talk about the $12k).  That's actually a great royalty rate, without any of us knowing the specific contract terms with respect to printed on paper copies and eBook sales.  

To validate those sales numbers, it's estimated it takes roughly 500 sales in a day to break into Amazon's top bestseller list.  Wensink doesn't mention other sellers, but I found that a great deal of book sales go through Amazon because the shelf life of a book in a brick-and-mortar store averages six weeks, without automatic reorder if the title sells out.

And Wensink's post makes a great point - 'I had a bestselling book.  I didn't make a decent wage.'  That's spot on. 

As a little BTW, the book currently only has 22 reviews on Amazon.  Reviews are like hen's teeth.

Review: Last Scene Alive

Last Scene Alive by Charlaine Harris

My rating: 3 of 5 stars



Found Last Scene Alive in the new book section of my local library. I generally like Charlaine Harris novels and have read other books in the Aurora Teagarden series.

It was not a bad book – but the ‘but’ is, I didn’t find it thrilling , gripping, or something that I’d label as enjoyable to recommend to others. Last Scene Alive is a formulaic murder mystery.

View all my reviews

Dubious Advice?

I should really post more about writing - that's what this blog is for.

I'm sorry that I'm more in the mood to work on Neferseshotep this month rather than more my sequel to The End of the World Sucks.  Sometimes, I need a break from Vanna and Thanos (they have issues).

Anyway, for a while I've been receiving critique advice to make Neferseshotep more like Tolkien.  The reasoning was sound.  A beloved classic where a group of characters who didn't talk over each other in conversation, that's exactly what Tolkien did.  I should have remembered there were hardly any female characters. 

Off the top of my head, I've read Tolkien, but I don't recall what he did in his writing style that made his story stand out so I plucked The Fellowship of the Ring off my daughter's bookshelf and got to work rereading it.

Uh yeah ... I hadn't gotten that far into the book, but I noticed the style dates the work.  I'm not sure it's the best approach for me and/or Neferseshotep.  There's lots of 'tell' at parts, and Gandalf is a know-it-all, answering questions at length for pages.

Here are some examples from The Hobbit .

          Insert a first person narrator to provide the reader with information (page 3) -

     Gandalf! If you had heard only a quarter of what I have heard about him, and I have only heard very little of all there is to hear, you would be prepared for any sort of remarkable tale.

The importance of communicating information to the reader may be done through omniscient narrator and quick changes of internal viewpoint, even within the same paragraph.  This is also a good section of lumping dwarves together, rather than making them distinctive (page 8) - 

... Not a ring, but a hard rat-tat on the hobbit’s beautiful green door.  Somebody was banging with a stick!
     Bilbo rushed along the passage, very angry, and altogether bewildered and bewuthered – this was the most awkward Wednesday he ever remembered.  He pulled open the door with a jerk, and they all fell in, one on top of the other.  More dwarves, four more!  And there was Gandalf behind, leaning on his staff and laughing.  He had made quite a dent on the beautiful door; he had also, by the way, knocked out the secret mark that he had put there the morning before.
     “Carefully! Carefully!” he said.  “it is not like you, Bilbo, to keep friends waiting on the mat, and then open the door like a pop-gun! Let me introduce Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, and especially Thorin!”
     “At your service!” said Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur standing in a row.  Then they hung up two yellow hoods and a pale green one; and also a sky-blue one with a long, silver tassel.  This last belonged to Thorin, an enormously important dwarf, in fact no other than Thorin Oakenshield himself, who was not at all pleased at falling flat on Bilbo’s mat with Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur on top of him.  For one thing Bombur was immensely fat and heavy.  Thorin indeed was very haughty, and said nothing about service; but poor Mr. Baggins said he was sorry so many times, that at last he grunted, “pray don’t mention it,” and stopped frowning. 

The follow-up advice when I questioned the applicability of Tolkien's style to modern epic fantasy, or the possibility that they were thinking the movies, rather than the books.  Response: read George R. R. Martin's Game of Thrones series.  That's what you need to imitate, but at the same time simplify the entire story by removing characters and set up scenes so no more than two characters appear in it.

To comfort myself, I've started some new spreadsheets.

Watch those words

Even with this time off, I spend more time on finding work than on writing fiction.

The I.T. industry has changed so there are more contractor opportunities than ever, and some can turn into a permanent hire.  Contracting is not ideal, but affords some flexibility - though I prefer stability over flexibility.

There are many contracting firms so I receive frequent calls from companies I haven't heard of before. That's OK though, because they'll tell me about the job, their client, what they'll pay, and how they'll pay it.  If I like what I hear, I'll say 'yes' in some way.  Then they'll send me an email asking me to respond back with my acceptance and giving them the right to exclusively represent me for that single position at that rate at that location.  Some end clients have so many similar job postings that there may even be a position number included - like Verizon Wireless begins their positions with VZW.  If someone else calls me about a job at Verizon Wireless, I need to compare the job numbers so I don't have two different companies represent me for the same position.  That's breaking the rules, but it's alright to have another company represent me on a second job at Verizon or wherever.

So while I was on the phone with my daughter last week, I received a voice mail that Vonage transcribed into text as -

"Hi son, it's him put technologies. I'm just calling to message I will bring them up a plan for the rest of them will and Ashley. I just was in the kitchen. The assistant in New Jersey. If you understood for this person please contact him. My number is 856-.... My extension is 107 I repeat 856-.... My extension is 17. I'm sending regarding this please go through that and get back to me. Think we" 

I then was forced to listen to the wav attachment myself to see if I could figure out the correct extension or the caller's name.  Vonage did the better job.

The guy called again, and his conversation skills hadn't improved.  I was able to get a rate and town, and said send me over the email and I'll confirm.  Some firms will suggest wording, and his did, along with the rate without benefits and the job description.  No name of an end client.

He requested I reply -

'I give' - Company X - 'the right to exclusively represent me.'

What could this mean if I responded with that?  That from this point forward Company X is the only consulting company that can represent me.  If I find my own job even, I could be held liable.  The rate is not in the phrase, so what if they find me a job bussing tables at a diner for minimum wage?  What if it's far away, where I wouldn't want to commute?  Anyway, the email I sent back was not what he expected to receive.

This also applies to author agent contracts. Agents are in the business of selling.  That's good, because they're supposed to represent you as the author.  They sell your work, that's how they get paid.  An agent also has a relationship with publishers (or at least you hope they do).  That business relationship is also important to them, and you as the author are expecting it to remain professional with regards that the agent is working for you in an ethical manner with their connections.

However, sometimes the contract can be loose either through a reluctance to keep updating them for every client, or due to the unknown amount of time it takes to 'sell' your work.  Unlike my contractor situation, your agent should remain your sole agent to all publishers for a period of time to sell either all your work, or a specific work.  Agent Joe is not limited to pitching you to Penguin, so don't worry about getting Agent John to represent you to McGraw-Hill.

What you do want is some escape clauses that are not draconian sounding.  What if Agent Joe has a life-changing event, and no longer actively represents you to publishers?  Wording such as if a publishing contract has not been signed one year from this date, you have the option to dissolve your relationship with Agent Joe with a notification such as you or Joe mail the other a certified letter.  You don't even have to go into whose fault that is - your work may be a difficult sell, Agent Joe may not be presenting it properly, or Agent Joe's publisher relationships are not the right publishers for your work. Give Agent Joe some benefit of doubt because he's not paid until you're sold, so doing nothing except getting you to initially sign is bad for his business too.

Authors can't just write - they need to read too.

Added Appearances Calendar

Hey,

I'm working on getting out there to sign books and talk about writing, what to do with a manuscript, querying, and all the stuff that gets something from 'I got an idea' to a book.

I'm a member of the New Jersey Authors Network.  Jon Gibbs and others contact libraries and keep the rest of the group aware of upcoming opportunities to speak about their experience and maybe tell some war stories, but also to offer advice.

When I first tried National Novel Writing Month, I didn't have a project plan all laid out regarding what I actually did.  I thought that step 1 was get an agent or publisher, then changed my mind when I found out more about the length of time between acceptance and 'on the shelf'.  Also, I don't mind edits, changes, or rewrites, yet I don't want the story molded to the formula because the formula worked for Best Seller Girl.  And see, I was ahead of the curve with a New Adult heroine, rather than de-aging Vanna to a teenager.  I could be foaming at the mouth now being asked to age her back up to New Adult today.

While there, I could also learn from my fellow panelists.  Publishing is changing at a rapid pace.

So I'm adding a tab up on the top for a calendar of appearances.

January

I realized I haven't posted in January.

I'm still on the hunt for a full-time job so I'm online quite a bit, but not having fun.  My imagination is taken up with picturing myself in different places, utilizing related skills - some of which I'm quite good at - and what the possible wage would be and what that means.

Since my last blog post, my daughter came home from college and then returned.  While she was here, she also worked part-time with me at my second job.

So now, it's me and the animals again ... along with Vanna, Thanos, and some Neferseshotep in the back of my head.